Death Behind His Eyes
by Sunsetwing
Summary: Edward leaves his wife and son behind to pursue his passion, but at what cost?
1. Chapter 1

**FAGEtastic Four**

**Title: Death Behind His Eyes**

**Written for: evilnat**

**Written by: Sunsetwing**

**Rating: M**

**Summary/prompt used pictures and lyrics:**

"**A picture says with sight what we can't say with words.**

**But you've been walking eyes to feet in dark sunglasses**

**A picture will survive, so smile and look alive."**

**Incubus- Look Alive**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Stephenie Meyer is a goddess and she owns everything. No copyright infringement intended. This is the only time this story that I will post the disclaimer.**

**A/N I am trying something different here, so please bear with me. I haven't ever written a drabble. I hope that evilnat likes this. Thank you to Breath-of-twilight who always checks my comma's ;).**

He's leaving today.

My heart clenches, painful thumping, pinching, battling within the small confines of my chest.

If I am being honest with myself, I'll admit I don't want him to go.

What woman in their right mind would?

But I also know he has to.

This is his passion.

One which we both used to share.

Now, my only passion is our child.

His five year old mini.

He looks just like him.

Eyes.

Smile.

The way my little guy quirks his brow and his eyes twinkle when he is trying hard to figure something out.

Yeah, that's my Aidan.

Ours.

My mini Edward.


	2. Chapter 2

"Come back to me, baby. Come back to us," I whisper, barely able to form words past the huge lump that is growing, larger and larger, clogging my airways and making my eyes sting with unshed tears.

Clinging to the last vestiges of hope that he will come back to me unharmed.

_Come back to us_.

I grip his shirt tightly in my fist.

Desperately trying to memorize this moment before he walks out of my sight and onto the plane.

Tears that I long to shed, but I have to wait.

'Cause I have to be strong for our little Aidy.

He needs me now.

Tonight, when I am alone and he is safely tucked in bed, then and only then, I will purge my pain, free my fears in the form of gut wrenching sobs.

And I will continue to do so for another month.

Until my love is back in my arms again.


	3. Chapter 3

Days pass in a blur of activity. I still have work to do. I still have our son. I can't shut down, even though I want nothing more than to do so.

So, instead, I lose myself in our little boy.

I take him to soccer practices and games.

We make play-dough together and visit family.

Although, we only do this once or twice.

It is more than enough for me.

Their looks of worry, of pity, and of understanding are just too much.

My emotions are teetering too precariously.

But I can't crack.

Not now.

Not yet.

He'll be home soon.

Then I can.

Three more weeks.

That thought is the only thing that holds me together.


	4. Chapter 4

Nights are a whole different story.

I spend them alone.

In our room…

Staring out the window…

With the scent of him surrounding me.

Tears trickle in torrents down my cheeks.

I do nothing to stop them.

I don't want to.

This is the only time I have to just feel…

To let go…

To remember…

To break down when I am finally afforded the luxury to.

Every inch of our room reminds me of our life together.

How we love each other.

Moments spent wrapped around one another. Just reveling in our time together and the experiences we've shared.

I can only hope he's fairing this separation better than I am.


	5. Chapter 5

The news comes on a Tuesday.

I hear it when the news breaks in to the program that Aidan and I are watching.

It says, "Photographer, Edward Cullen, is missing after battle erupts in the city streets today. Officials have yet to give too many details into his disappearance, but there were several people within the group that Cullen was travelling with that were killed."

I'm panicked.

Not only did I hear it loud and clear, so did our son.

He looks at me with your eyes, and it is all I can do to not collapse and let the world crash around me.

The phone rings and rings.

I don't answer.

I don't want to know what they'll say.

I don't want to hear them say you're gone.

I won't be able to survive that.

Life without you is no life at all.

Aidan is crying.

I'm trying to hold him tightly to me and reassure him that you'll be back.

You're his daddy…

… and his hero.

You wouldn't leave us.

No.

Not like this.


	6. Chapter 6

The day passes into the night.

I feel numb.

Already we're both physically and emotionally exhausted, and there is no end in sight.

Aidan succumbs to sleep early in the evening.

I hope that he'll sleep throughout the night.

The phone stopped ringing hours ago.

I rock Aidan's little body even though the comfort is not for his sleeping form.

The shrill ringing from the nightstand causes my body to cease movement.

I'm still wary of answering, but I have to know.

I have to know what they're going to tell me about you.

Are you gone forever?

Or have they finally found you.

Battered, broken, hopefully alive.

But I can't go there.

I can't think like that.

"Hello," I croak out.

"_May I please speak with Bella Cullen?" _

"This is Bella Cullen."


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N Here's some more for you :) Also, due to an insane amount of work at work, it may take just a few more days :S**

I feel as though I may hyperventilate.

"_Ma'am, this is Captain Jerry Applegate from the United States Army. I'm calling regarding you husband, Edward Cullen."_

"Is he alive? I just have to know."

"_We have reason to believe that, yes, he is. We have a team right now that is looking into a hostage situation, and your husband is one of the hostages."_

"What do they want? Why him?"

"_We believe that it may have to do with something he saw and possibly photographed. The situation has always been volatile in this region, and there were too many people who knew of your husband. They may not want some information that he discovered to get out. But at this time, it's just conjecture."_

"Are you going to be able to find my husband?"


	8. Chapter 8

"_We're doing everything we can, Ma'am."_

I let the phone slip from my fingers.

I can barely contain that pain that is now surging through my body.

"Please find my husband," I whisper in my too empty room.

Every room is empty without you.

I'm not sure how many hours pass after that.

It could be one.

It could have been seven.

All I know is that with you missing.

There are so many pieces of me missing with you.

Besides our beautiful boy, you are my reason for living.

The air I breathe.

How long will I be able to survive without you?

I just don't know how to press forward.

Without you.

I don't know how to be strong.


	9. Chapter 9

Time passes swiftly and days turn into a week.

One week you've been missing.

Still I have heard nothing.

Not if they've located you or if you're alright.

It would only be one more week that you would've been away from us.

One.

But now, we have to prepare ourselves for the possibility that it could be a lot longer than that.

Aidan has barely been speaking.

Traumatized by what he heard on the television.

I do my best to reassure him.

Yet, I'm the one that needs so much reassurance.

There is no one to offer that to me.

Our families have tried to reach out to me.

They've have offered to take Aidan for a few days to give me some time alone.

But I can't bear to be separated from the one perfect thing that connects me to you.

If that makes me a bad mother, I don't know. All I know is that I need him and he needs me.

His mother.

And he needs you, too.


	10. Chapter 10

Photographs.

I gaze longingly at the ones that line our walls.

I wonder what was so important that they took you from us.

Did they know you're a husband?

A father?

You were due back a week ago.

I can't help but feel the dread that seeps into my veins.

I took Aidan to stay with my parents for a few days.

I can barely keep it together in front of him.

That can't be healthy for him.

He needed to get out of this house.

Away from the sadness that encompasses it…

… and me.

Looking at the family portraits that we took, I ache to be with you.

I want to cling to hope, but instead I feel hopeless.

Our wedding photo…

hands intertwined…

life just beginning

… nothing but a future together looming in the horizon.

Happiness.

Love.

…..

Pain...

The silence is killing me.

Then, the phone rings.


	11. Chapter 11

You're alive.

You're _alive_.

The relief is so overwhelming that I collapse.

A sobbing, blathering mess on the floor, clutching the phone in my death grip.

They say you've been injured.

They say you've been exposed to horrific acts.

That you're lucky to be alive, but still, you're _alive_.

The man on the phone, who I can't seem to remember his name, says they'll contact me again when you can come home.

Home.

You're my home, my everything.

I ache to hold you. To let you know that everything is going to be okay.

Everything has to be okay.

I won't feel right until I see you with my own two eyes.


	12. Chapter 12

Again with the silence.

Another week passes and I haven't heard if you're still abroad or if they've finally started to bring you home.

Aidan is back at home with me, but I've told him very little.

I don't want to get his hopes up only for you to be gone longer than another week or two.

I still feel like I'm suffocating.

You're my air.

Even though I know you're alive, I'm inclined to believe that you aren't okay.

I know what region you were headed to.

I know where they say you were taken from.

Even the strongest man could break in the jungles of Africa.

You're lucky to be alive.

And I am lucky to not have lost you.


	13. Chapter 13

The third phone call I receive notifies me you've been brought to a military base at an undisclosed location.

This call has come almost one month after your original date to return home.

Our families are dying to get information out of me.

There just isn't any to give.

I know as much as they do, and that's next to nothing.

I just repeat, like a mantra, over and over in my head, _at_ _least he's alive, at least he's alive_.

Your mother has been a trooper.

She's supported me and Aidan while trying not to fall apart.

You're her baby.

She keeps Aidan a couple hours a day.

I think it's because he reminds her of you.

He certainly reminds _me_ of you.


	14. Chapter 14

_"Is this Mrs. Edward Cullen?"_

"Yes, yes it is."

_"Mrs. Cullen, we just wanted to inform you that your husband is being flown home as we speak. His plane is due tomorrow evening."_

I weep with relief. How I've survived this long without you is nothing short of a miracle.

I fall to the floor, still clutching the phone.

_"Mrs. Cullen, are you still there?"_

"Yes, I'm sorry, go ahead."

_"I was saying that when Mr. Cullen's plane lands we're going to be having him disembark on the tarmac. The media presence is going to be too great a risk."_

"A risk to what?"


	15. Chapter 15

_"I'd rather not go into it too much over the phone. I do think it would be good to debrief Mr. Cullen with you in attendance."_

"What happened to my husband?"

_"Again, Mrs. Cullen, I would rather we discuss that in private. I also think it's best if you come by yourself. Some of the things we'll discuss will be of a sensitive nature, you understand?"_

"Frankly, Sir, I don't. I haven't known what's been going on with my husband since he left. I'm only now being told when I'm going to be seeing him again."

_"I understand, Mrs. Cullen. Some things are just better discussed in person."_


	16. Chapter 16

I speak with your mother and make plans.

Plans that include her watching Aidan then meeting us back at home.

I'm a wreck.

I don't know what I'll find when I see you with my own eyes.

It's one thing to know you're okay. It's a whole other thing to see you in one piece.

I hope that one piece isn't shattered inside.

I will do whatever I need to do to piece you back together again. No matter what the state of repair is.

I love you.

You're my heart.

My soul.

My hands shake as I drive towards the airport.


	17. Chapter 17

I've received strict instructions to drive to a private entrance at the airport.

The gate is solid paneled, black, and leaves me with a sense of foreboding.

Much like the ivy that grows around the gate, blocking all light from every direction.

I can't imagine, with how secretive they're being, that you're the same man you were when you left.

I just want to hold you.

Make everything else disappear.

Three men approach the car, and I feel my anxiety level escalate to levels I can barely handle.

I'm to follow.

To where, I'm not sure.

I just follow.

They lead me to a place where a small airplane hangar sits, secluded.

Thankfully, not many people are here to see what's going on.

I couldn't bear them to see you broken.

A screech breaks into my thoughts.

The plane has landed, then taxies toward me on the tarmac.


	18. Chapter 18

I am holding my breath.

The sides of my vision start to get fuzzy.

Once the door opens to the airplane, I see you standing there.

I think it's you.

I can finally release the air from my lungs.

Exhaling with it every ounce of pain and agony I suffered from your absence.

The men in front of you start to descend the stairs, and I see you shuffle behind them.

Slowly.

You're dressed in unfamiliar clothing.

Cloth covers all but your face; which is shadowed and gaunt.

So unlike the clothes you left with; so unlike you.

What is wrong that causes you to be dressed that way?

Why are you moving so slowly?

What causes that pain on your face?

What have they done to you?


	19. Chapter 19

Your eyes don't meet mine as you descend that stairs from the airplane.

I want to scream and run to you but something keeps me firmly cemented in place.

Your head has been shaved.

Wild auburn locks that would have given color and life to your grey pallor.

I can see cuts and scratches on your face from here.

Bruising.

You slowly look up, and our eyes meet.

Unexpectedly, I see tears start to stream down your cheeks.

Vision blurred, I finally find the strength to run to you.


	20. Chapter 20

Frantically grasping at your thin frame, you don't feel like the man I married.

I feel as though you're going to break at any moment.

_Oh baby… baby… I'm here._

You're all that matters in this moment, and I just want to shut out the world.

Your face is buried in my hair.

I can feel you shake as you sob.

I have never, in all the years we've been together, seen you cry like this.

You've yet to make a sound.

Not even a cry of anguish.

You slowly pull away, and there it is…

The death hidden behind your eyes.


	21. Chapter 21

We're herded into a building next to where I parked to car.

I feel like we've been swallowed up in a mass of people, and I am clinging to you like you're my last breath of air.

The walls are white.

The hum in the air from the low speaking voices puts me on edge.

You, still, are as quiet as a mouse.

And although I cling to you, I'm truly afraid to look closely at you.

It may break me.

No, it will definitely break me.

The talking ceases.

I look to the faces that stare back at us.

_"Mr. Cullen… Mrs. Cullen, first, we'd like to extend our deepest apologies for what you've been through the past few months. Second, we'd like to discuss where we all go from here."_

"What do you mean, "Where we go from here?"


	22. Chapter 22

_"Well, to be frank, Mrs. Cullen, your husband is now suffering from severe Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. The horrors he was subjected to and the punishments he suffered will have lasting effects on him."_

"Horrors? Can someone please tell me what's happened? I know absolutely nothing… please?"

I look to my husband whose head is bowed and then to the other men in the room.

I assume the man who was just speaking to me is somehow in charge.

No one has bothered to introduce themselves.

No one is speaking at all.

Why won't they just tell me?

_"Yes, Mrs. Cullen, you see, Mr. Cullen was taken prisoner and tortured."_


	23. Chapter 23

I slowly turn to look at you.

There it is, etched in the lines, cuts, and bruises on your face.

Your eyes won't meet mine.

I'm worried that I will see these horrors mirrored in their depths.

They tell me of your capture.

Of how you were brave.

Trying to keep together all the people who were taken.

Until they picked them off, one by one, to make you talk.

Children.

Women.

But not the men.

No, they saved mass firing squads for them.

All so you could watch, thinking you could have saved them if you only told them the information they wanted to know.

But you didn't have their answers.

None of them.


	24. Chapter 24

They talk of how they beat you every time you refused them.

Of canings and near drowning.

They talk of how you're missing you toe nails because they sought to torture you bit by bit.

As if that wasn't enough to break you, they talked of what they would do to your family.

To me.

To Aidan.

And yet, you endure every bit.

Trying to save who you could when you could.  
Hoping and praying everyday that that would be the day you all would be saved.

But in the end, you were the only one.

All those people who were left behind.

Only for you to escape with your life.

Watching as the little children corralled in a pen cried for help.

But you were the only one saved.


	25. Chapter 25

Silent tears stream from your eyes.

From mine, too.

I'm not sure how I'm going to fix this.

If I can even fix anything.

The bright light in this situation is that you're alive.

You're home.

I will fight for you with my last dying breath.

I just don't know what it's going to take to put you back together again.

I'm worried that they have broken you irreparably.

I reach for your hand.

Your hand grips mine so tightly it hurts.

It feels like you're clinging on to me for dear life.

Maybe you are.

Maybe being home is the only hope of saving you.

They talk of assisting us with anything we may need in the months to come.

They load me down with form after form of paperwork.

Sign here, initial there.

Know that you can be incarcerated if you should feel the need to reveal what you've learned here today.

But how can we keep this a secret?


	26. Chapter 26

This time we exit the building without the entourage.

You still have yet to speak, and I wonder if and when you will.

Maybe your throat's been injured and you can't speak.

I wish I'd asked about the extent of your injuries.

I honestly thought that you would've been able to have told me yourself.

This version of you wasn't what I expected.

I ache for you.

No matter what changes have undoubtedly occurred in you.

I love you.

You still cling to my hand.

I wonder if you're worried that this is all a dream…

That you've not left the jungle…

That maybe, you didn't make it after all…

I really hope that's not the case.


	27. Chapter 27

I secure you in the car.

Watch your head.

Feet inside.

Buckle goes here.

I move to sit in the driver seat and the carefully composed façade cracks right down the middle.

I sob into the steering wheel.

I look to you in the passenger seat and your expression is still unreadable.

I just wish you'd say something.

Anything to make the pain lessen.

Your eyes suddenly flick to mine, and it startles me.

It's like someone turned on a light behind your eyes before the tears start to rain down your face.

"Baby? Edward?"

Not sure how carefully I need to tread, I reach out and cup your cheeks in my hands.

It takes just a moment until I see you lose complete composure.

I hear words come from your mouth in barely a whisper.

It sounds like you're saying, _I'm home…thank god I'm home_.


	28. Chapter 28

I don't know what time it is.

I don't know how long we've sat here.

Maybe this has all been just some horrible nightmare.

Or maybe this is finally a glimmer of the real you.

Peeking out of the darkness.

Ready to claw your way back to the light.

The sun has gone from the sky.

Replaced with millions of wishes in the form of stars.

Your grip on me hasn't lessened.

Neither has mine, though.

There isn't one thing that I want more than to be here with you forever.

"Baby?"

Your voice breaks through the fog in my brain.

"Yes," my voice cracks.

"Take me home. I want to see my son."


	29. Chapter 29

Aidan is out the door before I've stopped the car.

You fling the door open and are on the ground clinging tightly to our sweet little man.

He's crying, but so are you.

I look up to see your mother waiting patiently to be reunited with her son.

Her wet eyes meet mine.

I nod.

Encouraging her to go to you.

You need her love.

You need all our love if you're to get through this.


	30. Chapter 30

We don't stay long.

I make promises.

Promises that I don't know if I'll be able to keep.

Promises that I'll fill your mother in on what's occurred since the last time we saw each other.

I need to share this burden.

I don't know if I'll be able to help you on my own.

But I will try.

You sit in the back seat with Adi.

I can hear you telling him that everything will be okay now.

Now that you're home.

Now that we're all back together.

I silently cry while I drive us home.

Finally acknowledging the situation.

You may not have mentally come home to us.

But physically, here you are.


	31. Chapter 31

It takes a few minutes to get us in the house.

Aidan won't let go of you.

Neither will I.

You stand in the doorway and take in your surroundings.

Nothing has changed.

When you were gone, I found comfort in the familiarity.

This was your space, too.

This was the way you liked your things.

I like them this way, too.

I could never find it in me to make the smallest change.

What was the point?

Unless you wanted it.

But I would have given anything for you to have been here all along.


	32. Chapter 32

Pizza arrives not long after we finally settle in the living room.

Your mother had the foresight to make sure we wouldn't starve.

Your eyes take in the pizza, and I begin to worry.

Will this food make you sick?

How much have you even had to eat in the last week?

In the last month?

You are so much thinner than when you left.

I just want to hold you.

Touch you.

But the fear that I might break you terrifies me.


	33. Chapter 33

You've been sitting with Aidan in his room now for an hour.

I want to go in and be with my boys.

But…I can't break the little bubble that encapsulates you both.

Instead, I go to our room.

Sitting in the window seat, I look out to the world beyond.

In much the same position as I was when you were gone.

The world looks different now.

I don't hear you when you approach me.

"He's finally asleep," you say.

"He's relieved your home."

"Are you?" you ask.


	34. Chapter 34

"Of course, how can you ask me that?"

"Because I'm not the same man."

"You are. I know you are. That man may be buried deep down inside you, but I know he's in there somewhere. I refuse to believe otherwise."

"What if I can't find him again?"

"We'll find him together. You will never be alone and afraid again. I will do whatever it takes to make sure of that."

I will fight to the fiery pits of hell before I lose you again.


	35. Chapter 35

You slowly approach me like a scared, wounded animal.

I don't move towards you.

I want this to be at your pace.

I know that this moment is essential to your healing.

All of this needs to be on your terms.

We can talk later if you need to unload.

For now, I just want to touch and hold you.

You touch my hair.

Smoothing it under your light touch.

Fingers trace over places that once knew warm, wet kisses.

You suddenly grasp my shoulders and slam your body into mine.

Grasping and clawing like a drowning man.

But I hold you tight.

I won't let you fall.


	36. Chapter 36

Sleep is difficult to find.

If it comes at all.

I wonder where you've gone to.

I find you huddled on the floor.

You shiver.

When I touch you, you nearly knock me over.

Ghosts of memories cloud your eyes.

Blinding you to the reality you now live in.

As fast as I see it there, it goes.

You scramble to get to me.

Frantic.

"Baby," you nearly scream.

"I'm alright. It's okay, Edward. I'm okay. Just calm down."

But you won't.

Again you cling to me like I'm the only think holding you here.


	37. Chapter 37

That first week you see a PTSD therapist, I don't ask you to share.

You don't volunteer anything either.

The second week, your colleagues come to see you.

You hold up a front.

I know you're breaking.

I wish you'd just let go.

They need to see your reality.

The third week, our families come over for dinner.

You're distant.

We're no closer than we were that first night.

I think everyone can tell.

They don't ask.

I don't mention anything.

It's not something I can fix.


	38. Chapter 38

I wonder if it's just me.

Have your feelings changed?

Do you not want me anymore?  
But what can I do?

It is the way it is.

You don't touch me.

Most nights are spent curled on the floor.

You still feel worlds away.

I just wish.

But wishes don't come true, do they?

The night is inky black, and I can barely hear you breathing.

I know you need something.

But do you know I need you?


	39. Chapter 39

"Bella?"

"Yes," I croak, my voice husky from sleep.

I feel the bed dip next to me, and you're there.

Next to me.

Pressed as close as you can.

You don't say any more words.

Maybe there are none left.

Your hand moves to my face.

This little bit of contact is overwhelming.

So much better than I remember.

I keep my hands to myself, though.  
I'm afraid.

Afraid to touch you.

Your lips move to mine.

The feeling is unfamiliar.

But that doesn't stop the natural reaction I have to move with you.


	40. Chapter 40

I roll to my back.

You follow.

Settling into the cradle of my hips.

I feel you move against me for the first time in a very long time.

Longer than ever before.

I don't want to remember that time.

The time without you.

Make me forget.

The pressure is delicious.

Before I can register, there is skin on skin.

I feel the scars.

The cuts and bruises have healed.

Their ghosts still mark your skin.

You slide into me.

And I want forever to be this way.

As a part of you.

As a part of me.


	41. Chapter 41

After that first night, you're insatiable.

I don't know if it's just the need to feel a connection.

Anything.

We still don't talk.

I don't want to push.

I feel like there may be a time coming soon.

Too soon in fact.

When I won't be able to hold back anymore.

I'm in the tub, settling myself down deep in the water.

I can see you as you enter the bathroom.

Your hands press down against the sink.

Slowly.

Your eyes meet mine.


	42. Chapter 42

We stare at one another.

You're the first one to speak.

"I'm so sorry, Bella."

I don't say a word.

"I know I've pushed you away. I can't reconcile my home life with what happened while I was gone. This hasn't been fair to you… None of it.

"I know that my actions caused this. That's what is literally eating away at me. How can I ever make this up to you? I can't, and there lies the problem. My choices did this to us, and I don't know how to make it better."

"Edward…"

"No… Bella, things happened to me while I was gone that I wish I could scrub from my brain. I can't unsee those things. I spent the entire time that I was gone thinking about you and Aidan. What would happen if I didn't come home? How would that affect you guys? I didn't like the way that felt. No matter what, I did that.


	43. Chapter 43

"I lost hope, and in turn, I let down my family. It was so much worse than just making the decision to leave. I put myself in a position that could have permanently taken me away from my family.

"Aidan could have grown up without me. You could have eventually found someone else. But I didn't want that, dammit. I didn't want to be without either of you, and I'm so sorry I made that decision."

You drop to the ground.

Sobbing.

I scramble out of the tub.

Wrapping you up in my wet embrace.

You cry for you, and me.

But I think.

We cry together now with understanding.


	44. Chapter 44

After that day on the floor, everything changed.

I tried to unburden you.

You let me.

You told me as much as you felt comfortable with.

I listened.

It was hard.

But I would never show you.

I was just so happy that you were opening up.

You genuinely smile for the first time that day.

My heart bursts with happiness.

I thought I'd never see that again.


	45. Chapter 45

I go with you to therapy several times.

Not just for you.

But for me, too.

We're trying.

Not that we would have given up.

I would have fought for you.

I think you would've fought for me, too.

We sit down with your parents.

You tell them.

You're comfortable enough to let them in a little.

You've expanded our circle.

They're horrified.

Most try not to show it.

Your dad weeps while holding your mother together.

I know you've spared them the worst part of the details.

I don't even know those.

I see in your mother's eyes, the look of a mother who couldn't protect her child.

Defeat.

Failure.

Like she would have protected you with everything she has.


	46. Chapter 46

"Honey… Bella, can I speak to you a moment?"

We leave you and your dad.

I can see your mom's rigid frame.

She's about to burst.

"Bella, I don't know what to say. I want to understand, but my heart is broken. How could you've gone through this by yourself? Why didn't you ask for help?"

I break.

The tears flow freely.

"Honey, come here."

"Shhhhh," she coos.

She wraps her hands around me, and I melt into her embrace.

"I'm not angry, Bella. I just wish there was something I could've done for both of you. I just feel like I failed you both. I know what it did to you when he was gone. You've been so strong. Someone needs to take care of you, too, Bella."

And there it is.


	47. Chapter 47

After that day I feel lighter.

The burden has lessened.

You also seem to be a little lighter these days.

I can only imagine how good it felt to finally tell them.

Your parents have been unwavering in their support.

I know we'll make it.

Now.

I was worried for awhile.

I would have never left.

It would have to have been your choice.

I can see now.

It would have never come to that.


	48. Chapter 48

We receive the call on a Monday.

I worry you'll have a setback.

Things have been so good.

Too good maybe.

They want to know if you would be willing to meet.

I'm not sure what they'll benefit from it.

But I know.

It is far from a good idea.

The leaders need to hear your voice.

Who better than a prisoner of war.

I won't let you be a martyr though.

I won't stand for it again.

They can't have you back.

You're ours.

Our family.

You own them nothing.

We don't argue about it.

But you do make a compelling point.

You need justice.


	49. Chapter 49

We meet them together.

You give them your statement.

Your story.

As if they haven't heard it a hundred times.

Maybe coming from your mouth will be different.

We can only hope.

They want to see you.

To see the damage.

Is it lasting?

Permanently.

Will the wounds heal?

With time.

You just want to help.

That was all you ever wanted.

To let people know.

To make a difference.

But you've made your mark.

It may not have been the one you wanted to make.

But it had a huge impact, none the less.


	50. Chapter 50

Years go by.

You get better every day.

I can see the light start to come back.

Your eyes are bright again.

Aidan has his dad back.

I have my husband.

You even have taken on some work.

Nothing that would take you away too far.

We've come to an agreement.

We stand united to protect what's ours.

Our family comes first.

No matter what.

And we're happy.

* * *

**Thank you to everyone who supported me through this. Thank you to Breath-of-twilight for going over this for me. I love her to pieces. I appreciate all of you who've stuck with me and thank you to Evilnat for the prompts. I hope you enjoyed your gift.**

**XX  
Kate**


End file.
